people suck

i like to believe in the power of change
i like to believe that people are essentially good
I like to believe that there is no constant in life

am i too idealistic?
is it wrong to believe in good?
i grow weary of conflict
even though such is the way of life

death trap

you know i dream of you
i dream of smoking

those things that i have put away
because they became more pain than they were worth

and yet i love
maybe just the thought of them

the romantic notion of danger
and self-destruction

which is always lingering
in the back of my mind

i am still trying to find
the path to my essence

that elusive notion
of what i want to be

because something must be
better than this

floaties

waves
always waves
and within the crash
there is no memory
only the noise
the deafening
noise
which distracts
and envelops
and disguises the fact
that it's

just

a

wave

and there will
be many
more
but
it's hard to tell
when you can see
nothing
but the foam
and hear nothing
but the crash
so i always try
to keep it in my memory
that this is
just an ocean
just a wave
which will
come
and
go
whether i'm here
or
not
it still will be
my wave
your wave
ebb
flow
crash
retreat
build
crash
retreat
build


learn

to

swim

vicarious inspiration

Sitting in the branches
supported by the bough
reaching and swaying

what is the trunk
that keeps the bough up
the backbone of life

the source of nourishment
and strength
the lowest common denominator

the branches have their seasons
leaves come and go
the trunk is steady

She might sit in the branches
but maybe now
She's your trunk

who is the backbone
forever more unchanged
always there to nourish and support

meh-ry christmas

to those who care enough to look at this

thanks

and happy holidays to you

My Koan Haiku

I'm always moving
I can never settle down
My life follows me

Struggling along
Finding my place in the world
Looking everywhere

Coast to Coast express
I need to stand on my own
I have feeble legs

I should look inside
Or to the higher power
Where do I find peace?

These are all of the
Questions that I have in life
Personal journey

bad chemistry

i feel alive
while driving
at dusk
colors of the sky
pushing me forward
with diamonds toward me
and ruby away

the soundtrack of my life
is playing on the stereo
calming me
and making me feel sentimental
and i think of you
and you
and you

i'm looking forward
to my destination
to feeling at home
so far away
and feel happy
yes, happy
for a moment

i wish i could
capture those
moments in time
happy chemical reactions
that trick me
into feeling
quite good

it's fleeting
as always
and i find myself
returning to the
lowest common denominator
the gun
to my head

don't look surprised
this is who
i am
in fleeting moments
when chemistry
tries to trick me
into feeling