my diet

coffee and cigarettes
this is how i live
and maybe a little oatmeal
if i get hungry

the poisonous landscape
that i am immersed in
is eating me away
from the inside out

and i feed it with
coffee and cigarettes
and maybe some oatmeal
when i feel like it

what DaVinci never knew

standing on the hill
clouds rushing by
as if they were
a film on high speed
i felt the wind
on my face
in my hair
and it seemed
i could stay there
indefinitely

the city before me
the water
the waves
speaking those silent words
that tell me i can let go
let go of the worry
let go of the cares
give in to the wind
yield to it
and learn to master it

there are lessons
everywhere
if you know how to look
the glider
was magnificent
in its simplicity
and masterful
in its grace
dancing with the wind
knowing how to give and take

just a slight adjustment
of the controls
and a world of changes
can take place
a dive
a roll
with the wind
but yet not
crashed for a moment
but not broken

i will go back
to the hill
and give myself over
to the wind
to yeild my burdens
and take control
of the circumstances
that rule my life
because this time
i want to take the lesson

Stormy Weather

She wants to run away
But there's nowhere that she can go
Nowhere the pain won't come again
But she can hide
Hide in the pouring rain
She rides the eye of the hurricane

- David Wilcox

Always in the hurricane
Tropical Storm Me
coming soon to a city near you
if you dare

revisited

it was seven years ago tomorrow
on the fourth of july
when we went to see Bart
who put color to your sheild

and he thought it was funny
that the jew brought the coon
and we all laughed at that
and watched American History X

a bong from a soda bottle
in the back with the crew
and murmurings of what things
Bart would do with his dog

it was surreal and dangerous
and you made me hold your hand
although i remember later when
you wouldn't hold mine

as if i were meant to be
more of a man than you
and take the pain
suck it up for the both of us

summers at the fair
watching the tractor pulls
and endlessly in the garage
fussing with cars that won't be done

visiting your family
and playing with the pugs
swat team on the lawn
and trips to the hospital

except the trip
you wouldn't make
which left me alone
to wonder where your heart was

was i supposed to be
the strong one even then
i guess i was after all
always pulling it together

you helped me pack and told me
how i was the one
who gave herself to the man
in the long black coat

i let Horton Heat and Ani
drown you out
so i could keep moving
to the City of Destiny

maybe i'll return again
to the place i once called home
but then again
maybe not