it was seven years ago tomorrow
on the fourth of july
when we went to see Bart
who put color to your sheild
and he thought it was funny
that the jew brought the coon
and we all laughed at that
and watched American History X
a bong from a soda bottle
in the back with the crew
and murmurings of what things
Bart would do with his dog
it was surreal and dangerous
and you made me hold your hand
although i remember later when
you wouldn't hold mine
as if i were meant to be
more of a man than you
and take the pain
suck it up for the both of us
summers at the fair
watching the tractor pulls
and endlessly in the garage
fussing with cars that won't be done
visiting your family
and playing with the pugs
swat team on the lawn
and trips to the hospital
except the trip
you wouldn't make
which left me alone
to wonder where your heart was
was i supposed to be
the strong one even then
i guess i was after all
always pulling it together
you helped me pack and told me
how i was the one
who gave herself to the man
in the long black coat
i let Horton Heat and Ani
drown you out
so i could keep moving
to the City of Destiny
maybe i'll return again
to the place i once called home
but then again
maybe not
